a collection of my thoughts, feelings, photos, likes, dislikes, goals, vents, and much more. Maybe this can help some of you see past my wall of insecurities.

 

#yolo

Never really understood what that meant til now. No, it doesn’t give the excuse to be irresponsible. However, much like carpe diem, we all need to learn to live each day without regrets. Actually…more than yolo, I prefer hakuna matata.

Anyway, I’ve had so many changes happen in my life in such an abrupt way. Some expected, most unexpected. I can’t say I’m very happy because I’m the type that likes order and planning. I just hate leaving my comfort zone. I mean it’s there for a reason… But I digress. I don’t really know an outlet for all my feels lol. But tumblr will have to do while I try to find one. I wish some people I used to be able to vent to were still around, but that’s my fault too.

We all change and I need to get used to that inevitable fact of life. I’m so used to being the pillar everyone leans on and expects to never break, that I have no choice but to put up this front constantly. I don’t really know or remember who follows my tumblr if anyone does hah, so I think I can be honest. It’s really hard. I’ve built up this persona almost of the character I want to be, but I don’t think I can achieve it. I’ve made big goals for myself that I think I’m too lazy to reach for. I’ve put other things ahead of what should be my priorities and I’ve been completely aware every move. I don’t know. In my mind, I’m a wreck. But in others’ eyes I’m a well-oiled machine with all my wires in tact.

Ugh, I have this fear that I’m trying to force myself onto this path where I will just one day wake up and think, “wtf have I done with my life?”

This had me bawling. He is such an inspiration to his family, friends, and now strangers all over the world. A totally different connotation of YOLO comes to mind.

I have been having so many doubts and indecisiveness about what I want to do lately. It started when I watched a discouraging, eye-opening video about what I’m pursuing. The ROI is just not checking out for me.

Stress is attacking me from all corners. From reviewing…err cramming as much as I can within this final week before my exam, to worrisome relatives causing headaches, to my shallow complaints about my responsibilities at church for this coming busy sabbath, and finally to a dear dear person fighting cancer.

Last Friday, I was fortunate enough to get off work early to start studying. I thought I was finally going to get something done. However, after running errands, making lunch, cleaning the house for expected visitors…something unexpected occurred. I was already cranky that I lost so many hours and that I had so much to prep for the following day too. Then I got a voicemail as I got out of the shower. Someone I care about was at the hospital. Rather than spending the rest of the evening with my books, I sat in a cold room listening to her describe what was happening. Long story short, I did not expect it to be cancer. I’m glad I brought some flowers, a card, and a hug. 

Fast forward to Monday afternoon…surgery is all set. Everyone was prepared for the 6 hours she’d have to be on the table, but apparently not everything goes the way it should. After all the prayers, things turn a different direction. As for right now, things are okay. 

Moral of the story: I am all about me, all the time. I chase my goals. I put off anything that’s good for the present. I am not materialistic, but this quote comes to mind… “you can always make more money, but you can never make more time.” I wanted to study that night, but made the conscious decision to visit instead. That now outweighed my own later, if that made any sense. I don’t regret going, and I learned so much more about myself and others that night than I could ever get from a book.

HELLO ALL!
It’s been super duper long since I last checked tumblr. I’ve been on that instagram trend lately. loveee it. follow me @avxo7.
Anyways, I’m still alive for anyone who cares. I just have been low profile, MIA, hiding, and whatever else people have been telling me because I’ve been busy! No other reason. Okay, maybe also because I don’t like people lol. Work, grad school application preparations, OAT prep, school, church, family, trips, and other random things have been keeping me super preoccupied. However, I did have to drop a class because my schedule sucks and so did my grade :X …so now I have a few extra hours in the week! hehe. 
Thinking back to when I started this blog and when I had about 10 other blogs running on tumblr and various other sites, I was a really angsty misunderstood emotional teenage wreck lol. It’s quite embarrassing. To the point where I deleted my other ones (and forgot the passwords to the other half). Now I have definitely matured. It’s pretty weird. I think I just went through so much of the typical girl issues and life problems so early on, that by now, I feel way prepared for the world. I’m much happier now. I’m very satisfied with all my blessings. I have a dream and I’m constantly chasing it. I can’t look at things negatively now. The past couple weeks have been really stressful and hard on me, and it felt like every little thing was not going my way, but I continued to smile and pressed on. Nothing really phases me anymore. The most stress does to me is gets me sick because I have the immune system of a potato chip (inside joke). 
It’s kind of strange to think that the weakest part of me is my physical state. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually…I’m strong, but physically, I’m really not lol. The good thing about that, is it is something I can work on. I’m just too lazy and busy to worry about my looks and shallow things like that. I guess I make up for it with the food I eat. It’s been almost 3 years since I stopped eating meat and over 2 years as just a pescetarian. I loveee fruits and veggies, but bread is really what kills all my hopes of dieting haha. Bread and desserts, just carboloading all day.
The main reason why I keep this blog is because I want to see how I progress throughout the years. I want to start a new one, like my own website, but probably not until next year when I finish my undergrad :P 
There’s only one thing I know that I’m going to regret when I look back to around this time, and that’s me not making time for my friends. I only keep up with my closest friends and even them I don’t see too often. I think it’s because most of my girl friends got boyfriends and I really hate 3rd, 5th, 7th, 9th wheeling it lol. 
Ok, gotta study for my tests this week! Going to play tennis later too :) byeee
PS- yes, that shirt does say my birthday on it lol only reason why I’m wearing it. and it says coco.

HELLO ALL!

It’s been super duper long since I last checked tumblr. I’ve been on that instagram trend lately. loveee it. follow me @avxo7.

Anyways, I’m still alive for anyone who cares. I just have been low profile, MIA, hiding, and whatever else people have been telling me because I’ve been busy! No other reason. Okay, maybe also because I don’t like people lol. Work, grad school application preparations, OAT prep, school, church, family, trips, and other random things have been keeping me super preoccupied. However, I did have to drop a class because my schedule sucks and so did my grade :X …so now I have a few extra hours in the week! hehe. 

Thinking back to when I started this blog and when I had about 10 other blogs running on tumblr and various other sites, I was a really angsty misunderstood emotional teenage wreck lol. It’s quite embarrassing. To the point where I deleted my other ones (and forgot the passwords to the other half). Now I have definitely matured. It’s pretty weird. I think I just went through so much of the typical girl issues and life problems so early on, that by now, I feel way prepared for the world. I’m much happier now. I’m very satisfied with all my blessings. I have a dream and I’m constantly chasing it. I can’t look at things negatively now. The past couple weeks have been really stressful and hard on me, and it felt like every little thing was not going my way, but I continued to smile and pressed on. Nothing really phases me anymore. The most stress does to me is gets me sick because I have the immune system of a potato chip (inside joke). 

It’s kind of strange to think that the weakest part of me is my physical state. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually…I’m strong, but physically, I’m really not lol. The good thing about that, is it is something I can work on. I’m just too lazy and busy to worry about my looks and shallow things like that. I guess I make up for it with the food I eat. It’s been almost 3 years since I stopped eating meat and over 2 years as just a pescetarian. I loveee fruits and veggies, but bread is really what kills all my hopes of dieting haha. Bread and desserts, just carboloading all day.

The main reason why I keep this blog is because I want to see how I progress throughout the years. I want to start a new one, like my own website, but probably not until next year when I finish my undergrad :P 

There’s only one thing I know that I’m going to regret when I look back to around this time, and that’s me not making time for my friends. I only keep up with my closest friends and even them I don’t see too often. I think it’s because most of my girl friends got boyfriends and I really hate 3rd, 5th, 7th, 9th wheeling it lol. 

Ok, gotta study for my tests this week! Going to play tennis later too :) byeee

PS- yes, that shirt does say my birthday on it lol only reason why I’m wearing it. and it says coco.

fyeahsirvlad:

thelightofdeadstars:

goodnightvenom:

shallowjokesandbrokenthoughts:


The educational system in one image.

Ahh this is clever.
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will spend the rest of its life thinking it’s an idiot.” -Albert Einstein

Perfect timing. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT.

Yes ohmigod

Admin: Kinda off-topic, but I think this is something that many of us need to see right now.

fyeahsirvlad:

thelightofdeadstars:

goodnightvenom:

shallowjokesandbrokenthoughts:

The educational system in one image.

Ahh this is clever.

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will spend the rest of its life thinking it’s an idiot.” -Albert Einstein

Perfect timing. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT.

Yes ohmigod

Admin: Kinda off-topic, but I think this is something that many of us need to see right now.

Judgemental

I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, and I’m probably not one to talk since I know I constantly judge people. However, my case feels a little different. We often judge people with what they do, but for me it’s the opposite. I find people judging me all the time for things I DON’T do.

What I don’t quite understand is…why? Why would you judge me when it has nothing to do with you? When whatever I choose to do or not do will affect you in no way? Also, from what I’ve gathered, what I don’t do has caused absolutely no harm to you or myself. So, why bother?!

This is really directed to several people in my life, whether it be friends or family. First of all, mind your own business. Second, take a good look at yourself and how your actions reflect onto others, then come and talk to me. And third, learn to respect other people’s lifestyles even if they don’t agree with your personal beliefs and virtues.

I surely don’t approve of a lot of things my friends do, and maybe I’m just trying to be too good. But honestly, there are too many badly-influenced people in this world for me to join them. I chose to live my life through Christ, and am happy every time I succeed in proving myself good to others.

I just wish you all would stop trying to bring me down because I would never do that to you. In fact, I only want to help people. It’s been one of my biggest goals in life to somehow positively affect each and every person I meet. I try my best, even though my time is not fairly spread out. I’m sorry if I have big dreams, and no it’s not just to get into grad school…that’s just one tiny milestone in my list of ambitions. Right now, I’m surrounding myself with people who support me completely and can help me achieve what I want to achieve. So if you’re here in my life just to bring me negative comments and tell me things I really don’t need to hear…then just tell me straight up that you have a million insecurities. I’d rather hear that truth, so I’d at least be able to help.

rainbowballz:

ghost-of-saintjimmy:

HOLY FUCK. WHOEVER MADE THIS SHOULD BE SLAPPED. **** HOW TO WRITE WELL.NOT GOOD DAMNIT. SO. GRAMMATICALLY. INCORRECT.  




Lol I love it when people react to satire like they’re freaking omniscient, but then just get embarrassed like this guy.

rainbowballz:

ghost-of-saintjimmy:

HOLY FUCK. WHOEVER MADE THIS SHOULD BE SLAPPED. 
**** HOW TO WRITE WELL.
NOT GOOD DAMNIT. SO. GRAMMATICALLY. INCORRECT.  

Lol I love it when people react to satire like they’re freaking omniscient, but then just get embarrassed like this guy.

Lol the accuracy scares me

Lol the accuracy scares me

with all my heart,: euihwanp: I wish I had read this before college ayerayray: Your...

euihwanp:

I wish I had read this before college

ayerayray:

  1. Your friends will change a lot over the next four years. Let them.
  2. Call someone you love back home a few times a week, even if just for a few minutes.
  3. In college more than ever before, songs will attach themselves to…

Keep in mind!

(Source: quae-sum-ero)

oneandonlyjay:

kissthesecurves:

theafrosistuh:

titytwochainz:

hannermontanner:

golgothasghirahim:

basstrip:

whoa

what omg
witchcraft of the highest degree
the english language, everyone

I enjoyed this immensely.

This is one of the reasons why English is one of the hardest languages to learn I hear. 

I love this.

Haha I just went and stressed every word. Amazing.

oneandonlyjay:

kissthesecurves:

theafrosistuh:

titytwochainz:

hannermontanner:

golgothasghirahim:

basstrip:

whoa

what omg

witchcraft of the highest degree

the english language, everyone

I enjoyed this immensely.

This is one of the reasons why English is one of the hardest languages to learn I hear. 

I love this.

Haha I just went and stressed every word. Amazing.

(Source: mostlikelyloveyou)